what losing it feels like…you pretend…you keep up appearances…you talk and chatter…you move easily through conversation…no one knows but you…and as you walk away smiling…you say to yourself…okay…okay…okay…not okay…not okay…under your voice…you tell your companion…things have changed…you stayed out last night…you tell them…your neighbor keeps pounding on the door…you say...but no one hears it…only you…you say goodbye…you disappear…days later you text…you return home…fine…you nurture the need to isolate…not even coffee at Starbucks sounds good…friends offer advice…go for a walk…the fresh air…the sunlight…a breeze…but it annoys you…band aids…salves…not enough to cover…to make a scab grow…too little…too late…you pull the knife out of your chest…you bleed…words…ideas…concepts…but the pounding starts again…and you need your cocoon…your nurturing quiet…so you nap…you sleep…deep in dreams…deep in nightmares…
©kcasady2017
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